Forging Ahead

Hey friends! I took a break last week because my aunt Nan and cousins Kerry, Kelly, Savanah, Addy, and Baby A were here for a visit over the Martin Luther King, Jr holiday.  Then, Wyndi and Aiden/Babysaurus came for the week. It was so wonderful to have visits from home. 
I left off last time with the scheduling of the first appointment at Mayo.

Sept. 2010
Our appointments at Mayo Jax were scheduled for September 28.  We had one month to prepare for that day, but we had no idea what to expect.  We made our hotel arrangements. Dustin, my dad, my mom, and my brother took time off work to go with me.  My grandmother was planning on driving over from Keystone Heights to be with us that day as well.  All eyes were focused on Sept. 28.  But about two weeks before that, I started feeling bad again. I had no appetite, my heart was racing all the time, and I was sick to my stomach almost every day.  For about 8 days, I ate very little and threw up almost everything I did manage to eat.  Finally, Dustin took it upon himself to call Dr. McKean even though I begged him not to because I did not want to go back to the hospital. Again. Which of course was stupid because by the time we made it to the ER on Sept. 18, I could hardly walk on my own I was so weak. I got a bag of fluids speedy quick, and I started to feel better.  Hungry, even! I had high hopes that I could go home that afternoon. Alas, Dr. McKean had other ideas.  In light of our upcoming visit to Mayo, he wanted to be sure that I was good and healthy before I went. It turns out that was a really good call on his part because my kidneys were misbehaving, but we wouldn't find that out until the end of the next day.  It took 6 days, a lot of fluids, iv antibiotics, and a kidney specialist to get me on the road to recovery. They let me go on Thursday evening.  Probably because I hounded them about the face that I had tickets to the GA Tech game on Saturday and we were leaving for Jacksonville Sunday morning. 
I really wanted to have fun at the Tech game.  I had planned it all for my dad's birthday and it was going to be great.  I still didn't feel up to eating much and I was so tired.  But I was bound and determined that we were going and we WOULD have fun.  The game itself was hot and the Yellow Jackets lost, but the real torture for me was walking to and from the car.  I think we park 14 miles away.  I couldn't catch my breath and I had to stop every 100 ft. or so.  I tried to pass it off as still being run down, but I knew something wasn't right.  My dad and Dustin had to carry me each way.  For someone as tough and independent as I am, it was really hard to need help.  Turns out that was only the beginning.
This is where it gets a little fuzzy for me. I am pretty sure I was on system overload for the entire two days we were at the Clinic.  We met Margie and Dr. Keller for a consult, which we were not expecting.  I am not sure why, but we were expecting that they would do the pre transplant testing this trip.  I was, actually, very relieved that we were just meeting the doctor for them to decide if they would even take us. The major blow on this trip was that Dr. Keller insisted that I start using oxygen all the time, something I had fought tooth and nail against doing.  I shut down after that.  Thankfully my whole family was there to listen and take in everything else that was said because I sure didn't hear any of it. All I know is that they agreed that I seemed like a good candidate for the pre transplant work up.  I do remember giving them a window of time when we would be okay with them scheduling the tests. I also remember that my brother was the glue that held me together that day.  He was so calm and so pragmatic about everything.  He put the oxygen use in terms I was comfortable with.  I was going to be like an athlete, training to get my body in the best possible health for the transplant.
Even in the darkness of that day, God was so merciful to give us only what we could handle.  I was expecting to go for testing and to come back home and to be on the road to making this thing happen. I know now that I never could have mentally survived that process that day.  And I was so grateful that my aunt and uncle were letting us spend the rest of the week in their beach condo.  Dustin and I had a lot to talk about and think about.